SLAM [ALICIA BURNS]
Hey everyone and welcome to my blog of Alicia!
Before you start reading I would like to mention some aspects =)
to understand the colours I made a list for you, what they mean
[red]: A comment of me, the author of this blog
[yellow]: characteristics of Alicia. By only reading these yellow marked words you can get an impression what her personality is like
[green]: a comment to you, the reader! (I would be glad if you would take part in the surveys )
So, have fun and enjoy your stay ^____^
Before you start reading I would like to mention some aspects =)
to understand the colours I made a list for you, what they mean
[red]: A comment of me, the author of this blog
[yellow]: characteristics of Alicia. By only reading these yellow marked words you can get an impression what her personality is like
[green]: a comment to you, the reader! (I would be glad if you would take part in the surveys )
So, have fun and enjoy your stay ^____^
ABOUT ME
Alicia Burns
LOCATION: London
SCHOOL: St Mary & St Michael, I don't want to go to college and I have got problems in maths and english >.<
FAMILY: Mom (her name is Andrea, she is 50 years old, works as a cancillor and also teaches drama at college when she`s not being a councillor), Brother (his name is Rich, he goes to college and studies music and he loves to play his violine), Dad (his name is Robert, he is about 50 years old, listens to Hip Hop because he wants to give it a chance, has got already grey hair. By the way..he is a teacher and teaches literature in college)
HOME: I live in an old house in a big place, it´s untidy, dusty and we´ve got loads of books everywhere
LOOK: grey eyes, straw-coloured hair (it´s messy and looks always cool)
BODY: tall (not too thin and not too thick)
HOBBIES: playing the piano
MUSIC: smooth music, R&B, Hip hop, sometimes classical music
DREAMS: I want to become a model
LOCATION: London
SCHOOL: St Mary & St Michael, I don't want to go to college and I have got problems in maths and english >.<
FAMILY: Mom (her name is Andrea, she is 50 years old, works as a cancillor and also teaches drama at college when she`s not being a councillor), Brother (his name is Rich, he goes to college and studies music and he loves to play his violine), Dad (his name is Robert, he is about 50 years old, listens to Hip Hop because he wants to give it a chance, has got already grey hair. By the way..he is a teacher and teaches literature in college)
HOME: I live in an old house in a big place, it´s untidy, dusty and we´ve got loads of books everywhere
LOOK: grey eyes, straw-coloured hair (it´s messy and looks always cool)
BODY: tall (not too thin and not too thick)
HOBBIES: playing the piano
MUSIC: smooth music, R&B, Hip hop, sometimes classical music
DREAMS: I want to become a model
This is a picture of me.
Under it you can see another pic. It´s of Sam, my boyfriend..or I should better say ex-boyfriend.
Under it you can see another pic. It´s of Sam, my boyfriend..or I should better say ex-boyfriend.
Yes...as you can see I am pregnant here.
First we all talked about a ,,mistake, that has happened", but after all I love my son, Rufus.
First we all talked about a ,,mistake, that has happened", but after all I love my son, Rufus.
Chapter 1- First Impression of the novel
In the first Chapter Sam introduces himself and his life; that his parents are divorced and the fact, that he had always some problems. But after all he´s just a normal boy who loves arts and skating and who admires Tony Hawk a lot.
I guess this is the great thing about the book: Even if it only describes normal situations, realistic and personal ones, it`s still interesting! Nick Hornby has a lovely style to write his books, because of the teenager slang it sounds very direct.
I really love the funny situations in the book; even if they aren't that funny for Sam...for example he always talks to his poster of Tony Hawk ^^ and he can quote every sentence of this book he read about TH. That's how he always tries to solve his problems..it´s very funny but on the other hand, you know.. you feel sympathy for him >_____<
I guess this is the great thing about the book: Even if it only describes normal situations, realistic and personal ones, it`s still interesting! Nick Hornby has a lovely style to write his books, because of the teenager slang it sounds very direct.
I really love the funny situations in the book; even if they aren't that funny for Sam...for example he always talks to his poster of Tony Hawk ^^ and he can quote every sentence of this book he read about TH. That's how he always tries to solve his problems..it´s very funny but on the other hand, you know.. you feel sympathy for him >_____<
Chapter 2: the characters and their thoughts
SAMS MOTHER: is a young mother (32 years old), ironic; knows only VIPs who are as old as she`s, works for
the council, really likes Alicia thats why she
wants her son to meet her
RABBIT: a friend of Sam who`s really good at skating,
likes/ loves Sams mother till his friends tells
him that she's 35 (even if thats not true),
when Sam's feeling blue he notices it very fast
(but acutally he´s not really helpful..)
RUBBISH: another friend of Sam, he`s pretty bad at
skating but an intelligent boy
SAM: first he finds it very funny that his friend likes
his mom but later he gets angry and winds his
friend up, sadly he´s got a lot of friends who
like his mother and he isn't okay with that..
Sam wants to be good in school and wants to go to college
because nobody in his family reached the
college, he's very dissapointed about that and
wants to change it!, is happy about the fact that
Alicia doesn't visit his school, before he met her
he was more interested in skating than in having
dates ( sometimes is sounds like he's a little bit
afraid of it, maybe because his parents are
divorced [?]) , Sam labels himself as ,,a cool guy", he thinks his mother never wanted to get him, in the beginning he doesn't like Alicia because he thinks she's rude, cruel but clever, as you can guess he changes his mind, he tells her that her skin reminds him of peaches, in the beginning they have some strange conversations, later he likes her because she's running after him to ask for a new beginning, Sam's also afraid of only being a good friend to her, because of the way she talks to him and to be honest he really fancies her.
In bad situations he always talks to somebody..it doesn't matter who this person is you know, you just HAVE to talk to somebody, he thinks Alicia wouldn't have got many chances to become a famous model even though she´s very pretty,
when they spend one evening together he doesn't to have sex with her, he thinks it's wrong and she just wants to prey on him because of her ex-boyfriend
the council, really likes Alicia thats why she
wants her son to meet her
RABBIT: a friend of Sam who`s really good at skating,
likes/ loves Sams mother till his friends tells
him that she's 35 (even if thats not true),
when Sam's feeling blue he notices it very fast
(but acutally he´s not really helpful..)
RUBBISH: another friend of Sam, he`s pretty bad at
skating but an intelligent boy
SAM: first he finds it very funny that his friend likes
his mom but later he gets angry and winds his
friend up, sadly he´s got a lot of friends who
like his mother and he isn't okay with that..
Sam wants to be good in school and wants to go to college
because nobody in his family reached the
college, he's very dissapointed about that and
wants to change it!, is happy about the fact that
Alicia doesn't visit his school, before he met her
he was more interested in skating than in having
dates ( sometimes is sounds like he's a little bit
afraid of it, maybe because his parents are
divorced [?]) , Sam labels himself as ,,a cool guy", he thinks his mother never wanted to get him, in the beginning he doesn't like Alicia because he thinks she's rude, cruel but clever, as you can guess he changes his mind, he tells her that her skin reminds him of peaches, in the beginning they have some strange conversations, later he likes her because she's running after him to ask for a new beginning, Sam's also afraid of only being a good friend to her, because of the way she talks to him and to be honest he really fancies her.
In bad situations he always talks to somebody..it doesn't matter who this person is you know, you just HAVE to talk to somebody, he thinks Alicia wouldn't have got many chances to become a famous model even though she´s very pretty,
when they spend one evening together he doesn't to have sex with her, he thinks it's wrong and she just wants to prey on him because of her ex-boyfriend
Chapter 2
It was the party of my mom when I met him for the first time.
I sat in the living room and watched TV and I tried to act like I was not interested in anything and bored (cool/snooty) . Somehow that´s true. But then I talked to him- I´ve met Sams mother before and she has been really nice actually. Though I had to show him that I was strong and not one of these normal girls with who you can do everything (knows what she wants/confident) .
After we talked I had to provoke him a little bit..
,,Where do you want to be right now?" I asked. And I said: ,,I want to be here in this room- but alone."
Maybe I shouldn`t have done this- he walked straight away. After I caught him again I apologized and asked for a ,,new beginning" for our friendship.
I wanted to be honest..and after a while I could talk to him without any inhibitions. I don't know wether it was a problem for him that I told him about my private and intimate life. For me it wasn't, at least.Sam gave me the feeling that I could tell him everything and that made me happy.
Later we watched a movie together and I leaned back on his leg..I really wanted to touch him- to have body contact! It felt so good (doesn`t really think before she´s doing something/ straightforwardly).
As it was time for Sam to leave I ran after him, because I forgot to give him my mobile number. And I really wanted to keep contact...contact..was the only thing I wanted. Cause you know, I felt like I had fallen in love with him.
The second time we met I told him about my dream- becoming a model. Although I don't really like telling people about this dream..It may sound big-headed, may it not? When we stayed together again I felt so good ...really.
I wanted to sleep with him (rash). But Sam wasnt't sure about it and actually I got the impression that he didn't want it. Because I told him that I wanted to become a model, I guess. I had to cry a lot- I WANTED him..maybe I cried to arouse pity aswell (she´s a crybaby/mean) .
I can´t deny it.
Finally..
we had sex.
I sat in the living room and watched TV and I tried to act like I was not interested in anything and bored (cool/snooty) . Somehow that´s true. But then I talked to him- I´ve met Sams mother before and she has been really nice actually. Though I had to show him that I was strong and not one of these normal girls with who you can do everything (knows what she wants/confident) .
After we talked I had to provoke him a little bit..
,,Where do you want to be right now?" I asked. And I said: ,,I want to be here in this room- but alone."
Maybe I shouldn`t have done this- he walked straight away. After I caught him again I apologized and asked for a ,,new beginning" for our friendship.
I wanted to be honest..and after a while I could talk to him without any inhibitions. I don't know wether it was a problem for him that I told him about my private and intimate life. For me it wasn't, at least.Sam gave me the feeling that I could tell him everything and that made me happy.
Later we watched a movie together and I leaned back on his leg..I really wanted to touch him- to have body contact! It felt so good (doesn`t really think before she´s doing something/ straightforwardly).
As it was time for Sam to leave I ran after him, because I forgot to give him my mobile number. And I really wanted to keep contact...contact..was the only thing I wanted. Cause you know, I felt like I had fallen in love with him.
The second time we met I told him about my dream- becoming a model. Although I don't really like telling people about this dream..It may sound big-headed, may it not? When we stayed together again I felt so good ...really.
I wanted to sleep with him (rash). But Sam wasnt't sure about it and actually I got the impression that he didn't want it. Because I told him that I wanted to become a model, I guess. I had to cry a lot- I WANTED him..maybe I cried to arouse pity aswell (she´s a crybaby/mean) .
I can´t deny it.
Finally..
we had sex.
Chapter 3
When Sam and I stayed in Clissola Park I admit my love to him. It was the first time I told somebody: I love you.
You know..because noone ever told it to me (non-sequitur). We had a wonderful time.
But then his mother didn't want us to be together for one evening. I cried pretty much- I missed Sam SO MUCH!! (sensitive)
(sensitive or normal for someone who´s in love??? that´s up to you ^^)
The next day, when we stayed together- after he came back from eating pizza and watching a movie with his mom, we felt like Romeo and Juliet. Just like the whole world was against us!
(okay that´s VERY sensitive isnt it? I would like to hear you opinion :) )
There is something I have to mention I guess..we never talked about the night we had sex again. I don't know why, but we never did- but there was no reason for it, was there?! Then, someday Sams mother invited me for lunch and I had a nice conversation with her..I bet that´s how I forgave her (changes her mind fast).
It was funny to talk about Sam and to make some jokes about him.
And then you know..I asked her what it was like to have a baby with 16. I couldn't have imagined a better person to ask this, because as we all know his mom is pretty young.
You know..because noone ever told it to me (non-sequitur). We had a wonderful time.
But then his mother didn't want us to be together for one evening. I cried pretty much- I missed Sam SO MUCH!! (sensitive)
(sensitive or normal for someone who´s in love??? that´s up to you ^^)
The next day, when we stayed together- after he came back from eating pizza and watching a movie with his mom, we felt like Romeo and Juliet. Just like the whole world was against us!
(okay that´s VERY sensitive isnt it? I would like to hear you opinion :) )
There is something I have to mention I guess..we never talked about the night we had sex again. I don't know why, but we never did- but there was no reason for it, was there?! Then, someday Sams mother invited me for lunch and I had a nice conversation with her..I bet that´s how I forgave her (changes her mind fast).
It was funny to talk about Sam and to make some jokes about him.
And then you know..I asked her what it was like to have a baby with 16. I couldn't have imagined a better person to ask this, because as we all know his mom is pretty young.
CHAPTER 3: Romeo and Juliet How do you think about it?
Chapter 4
I love him. Still.
Having a lot of sex and wathing TV together is fine and I hope he feels so too (not versatile)
It was this saturday morning when I invited him to lunch with my whole family. Because Sam became part of my family too and I wanted to introduce him to everyone..
This day has been great. (really in Love/family man)
Having a lot of sex and wathing TV together is fine and I hope he feels so too (not versatile)
It was this saturday morning when I invited him to lunch with my whole family. Because Sam became part of my family too and I wanted to introduce him to everyone..
This day has been great. (really in Love/family man)
My thoughts about Sam in Chapter 3/4
It was perfect. Being with Sam was..how shall I describe it..I couldn't think of anything else than him :) I wanted him as much as he wanted me I guess. We didn't do much, we didn't visit many places tough but...I still enjoyed it. It was always great to be with him. He was some kind of romantic..you know, kissing, laughing, holding hands everywhere..that's what every girl dreams of. In Clissold Park I told him: I love you.
I was nervous because I told it someone for the first time. But he said I love you too and I relaxed. He made me so happy.
I mean, first I couldn't believe it but we were both serious.
He always had contact to me, hearing his voice and reading his message texts made me feel proud- I had a boyfriend who did everything for me. That evening when he was in the cinema with his mother my charger didn`t work. I was panicky and tried everything to make it work again. I had fear that Sam thought something wrong about my actions..So I used the charger of my father and wrote him a nice text. Sam was so important to me.
I needed him- I dunno how often I should mention it again ^^
it was just...I wanted to see this boy every day and as soon as we couln't meet we felt like romeo and juliet.
When we had sex again he did everything I wanted him too . So he took off the condom and..
okay after it I thought maybe that was a little bit dangerous, Sam could have said something against it too!!
Later when I visited his house to have lunch with him and his mother he acted strange...
Later things changed. I still liked Sam! But he didn`t come for some days ..and so on. So one morning I invited him to lunch with my whole family. Because for me Sam was part of it! I love his way to talk to other people, because it´s so funny :)
but..after this day he didn't text me for some days. And he didn't visit me. I wondered what was going on.
Then I had this strange feeling- of course being scared of my relationship. I wrote him a sad message.. I missed him. And I didn't understand his offtake =(
So I sat down and thought about it..
I was nervous because I told it someone for the first time. But he said I love you too and I relaxed. He made me so happy.
I mean, first I couldn't believe it but we were both serious.
He always had contact to me, hearing his voice and reading his message texts made me feel proud- I had a boyfriend who did everything for me. That evening when he was in the cinema with his mother my charger didn`t work. I was panicky and tried everything to make it work again. I had fear that Sam thought something wrong about my actions..So I used the charger of my father and wrote him a nice text. Sam was so important to me.
I needed him- I dunno how often I should mention it again ^^
it was just...I wanted to see this boy every day and as soon as we couln't meet we felt like romeo and juliet.
When we had sex again he did everything I wanted him too . So he took off the condom and..
okay after it I thought maybe that was a little bit dangerous, Sam could have said something against it too!!
Later when I visited his house to have lunch with him and his mother he acted strange...
Later things changed. I still liked Sam! But he didn`t come for some days ..and so on. So one morning I invited him to lunch with my whole family. Because for me Sam was part of it! I love his way to talk to other people, because it´s so funny :)
but..after this day he didn't text me for some days. And he didn't visit me. I wondered what was going on.
Then I had this strange feeling- of course being scared of my relationship. I wrote him a sad message.. I missed him. And I didn't understand his offtake =(
So I sat down and thought about it..
Chapter 5
Suddenly we were no pair anymore.
I never thought things could change that fast (careless/ optimist) . It was his sixteenth birthday and I wanted to see and talk to him. I sent Sam a message with my mobile phone which said: I am waiting for you in Starbucks.
Maybe he had noticed it before me???? you dont know what I am talking about?
Well...something important. As I sat there I became more and more paled and frightened. I was late with my period. And when I told him that my fear transformed into rage.
Because we both knew what it meant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I didn't want to suggest anything, I wanted to KNOW it.
We went into the chemist's, but we quickly noticed that we hadn't got enough money for a pregnancy test.
I drove home and I hurried up to come back in 25 minutes- but as I arrived at the chemist`s again, Sam wasn't there anymore. I can remember this moment very well. Because it was like in a horror movie.
I never thought things could change that fast (careless/ optimist) . It was his sixteenth birthday and I wanted to see and talk to him. I sent Sam a message with my mobile phone which said: I am waiting for you in Starbucks.
Maybe he had noticed it before me???? you dont know what I am talking about?
Well...something important. As I sat there I became more and more paled and frightened. I was late with my period. And when I told him that my fear transformed into rage.
Because we both knew what it meant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I didn't want to suggest anything, I wanted to KNOW it.
We went into the chemist's, but we quickly noticed that we hadn't got enough money for a pregnancy test.
I drove home and I hurried up to come back in 25 minutes- but as I arrived at the chemist`s again, Sam wasn't there anymore. I can remember this moment very well. Because it was like in a horror movie.
What will happen in my future?
Okay there were two different options:
1) I was pregnant
2) I was not pregnant
so what shall I say?
I was late with my period and that was an important proof for me. I was desperate and scared. Really. Waiting for Sam in Starbucks was like waiting..alone in a dark world for ages. A dark world because the future wasn't clear.
I was relieved having Sam with me going to buy a pregnancy test. I`m not sure wether I would have gone alone. But you know what happened, I told ya.
I went to take some money from my house for the test and when I came back Sam had been dissapeared. My world got darker. DARKER AND DARKER! How could he leave me alone?! I was shocked, what would happen in future? If I really was pregnant..would Sam leave me aswell, like he did that time? How would this story end? Something told me I was pregnant..I felt it somehow. But what will exactly happen in my future? I dunno.
I never knew :( Maybe Sam would stay with me, we would be a pair, live together and have a baby. Having some good years.
Maybe we would split up, have terrible fights, maybe he wanted the baby to take it away from me! Maybe our son or our daughter would grow up in bad ratios- not poor circumstances you know..
:S of course I wanted the first future-option. And I fought for that. I wanted the baby, no question!
But future can change at any time
yes.
Things are never going to happen like you want them. That´s the irony of fate.
1) I was pregnant
2) I was not pregnant
so what shall I say?
I was late with my period and that was an important proof for me. I was desperate and scared. Really. Waiting for Sam in Starbucks was like waiting..alone in a dark world for ages. A dark world because the future wasn't clear.
I was relieved having Sam with me going to buy a pregnancy test. I`m not sure wether I would have gone alone. But you know what happened, I told ya.
I went to take some money from my house for the test and when I came back Sam had been dissapeared. My world got darker. DARKER AND DARKER! How could he leave me alone?! I was shocked, what would happen in future? If I really was pregnant..would Sam leave me aswell, like he did that time? How would this story end? Something told me I was pregnant..I felt it somehow. But what will exactly happen in my future? I dunno.
I never knew :( Maybe Sam would stay with me, we would be a pair, live together and have a baby. Having some good years.
Maybe we would split up, have terrible fights, maybe he wanted the baby to take it away from me! Maybe our son or our daughter would grow up in bad ratios- not poor circumstances you know..
:S of course I wanted the first future-option. And I fought for that. I wanted the baby, no question!
But future can change at any time
yes.
Things are never going to happen like you want them. That´s the irony of fate.
Chapter 6/ 7/ 8/
In Chapter 6 and 7 Alicia isn`t really mentioned. It´s only about Sams dream in which she probably would call her baby Roof and in which they would live together in Alicias house.
Chapter 8:
Sam ran away. I know there will be a difficult future for both of us and I am very worried. After I talked to Sams mother I was more worried and also upset than before. We searched him together but we didn't find him.
Chapter 8:
Sam ran away. I know there will be a difficult future for both of us and I am very worried. After I talked to Sams mother I was more worried and also upset than before. We searched him together but we didn't find him.
Chapter 9
Then Sam came back. I wish I could have been happier about that fact but I didn't feel very well.
Because I was pregnant. I never felt that desperate before..and I was sure about one thing: Sam should help me. I wanted to get the baby and Sam as the father should support me in every single situation!!! (big-headed) At this moment I had been confused too, I shouted at Sam although I have been happy to have him as the father... (desperate/ is confused) I know I know I lost my nerve.
I told him to wait infront of my school that day, so we could go together to my parents and let them know what was going on. Finally I didn`t trust him and waited infront oh HIS school (has no trust in him/ feels like to get in the lurch). Who knows, maybe he had wanted to run away again..and MAYBE this time forever. That´s just what I thought. We were so nervous as we sat in our living room...my parents hadn't got any glue why we wanted to talk to them. After a few minutes Sam said: ,,I am getting a baby"
It was funny hearing those words out of his mouth, for sure, but I know I just laughed to suppress my fears and nervousness. But it helped me to relax a little bit too.
My parents were definitely not happy about the news. To tell the truth: they were horrified. Anyways- I kept being dogged, because I wouldn't change my decision about getting this baby! On the Internet I had already searched and found many information (in that case responsible).
What happened next?
We went to Sams mother, for sure she had to know it too. I could see how dissapointed she was; her son doing the same mistake like she´s done in her past, I guess. We had some weird conversations again (like that often) and it was my father saying the most weird things. When Sams mother wanted to talk private to her son, he got angry. It was me who made them all shut up. It has been so childish talking about privacies at that moment! Everyone understood and since that minute the atmosphere got more relaxed.
Yet it seemed like we all wanted to cry.
Because I was pregnant. I never felt that desperate before..and I was sure about one thing: Sam should help me. I wanted to get the baby and Sam as the father should support me in every single situation!!! (big-headed) At this moment I had been confused too, I shouted at Sam although I have been happy to have him as the father... (desperate/ is confused) I know I know I lost my nerve.
I told him to wait infront of my school that day, so we could go together to my parents and let them know what was going on. Finally I didn`t trust him and waited infront oh HIS school (has no trust in him/ feels like to get in the lurch). Who knows, maybe he had wanted to run away again..and MAYBE this time forever. That´s just what I thought. We were so nervous as we sat in our living room...my parents hadn't got any glue why we wanted to talk to them. After a few minutes Sam said: ,,I am getting a baby"
It was funny hearing those words out of his mouth, for sure, but I know I just laughed to suppress my fears and nervousness. But it helped me to relax a little bit too.
My parents were definitely not happy about the news. To tell the truth: they were horrified. Anyways- I kept being dogged, because I wouldn't change my decision about getting this baby! On the Internet I had already searched and found many information (in that case responsible).
What happened next?
We went to Sams mother, for sure she had to know it too. I could see how dissapointed she was; her son doing the same mistake like she´s done in her past, I guess. We had some weird conversations again (like that often) and it was my father saying the most weird things. When Sams mother wanted to talk private to her son, he got angry. It was me who made them all shut up. It has been so childish talking about privacies at that moment! Everyone understood and since that minute the atmosphere got more relaxed.
Yet it seemed like we all wanted to cry.
Shall we have the baby or not?
It's time to think about my future again. Now Sam's finally back from his trip and I lately found out he ran away because of our ...future. That we split up doesn't matter, because it's OUR baby isn't it? And even if I somehow knew he would run away; because boys always do, even if I had problems with him..I still want the baby. We´ll look after it...love it, I know we can do that. I know I don´t trust him that much right now but I'll learn to do so. Cause he´s the father. the father of my child....
I know he doesn't want it...but I know Sam will change his mind. I won´t get rid of the baby, I didn't think about future but....It will somehow work.
We just have to make it work.
I won´t kill a life, a life I´ve brought to live.
I know he doesn't want it...but I know Sam will change his mind. I won´t get rid of the baby, I didn't think about future but....It will somehow work.
We just have to make it work.
I won´t kill a life, a life I´ve brought to live.
Chapter 10
I told this friend about being pregnant. I trusted this friend but..after some days everyone in my school-also Sams school-knew about it.
Some weeks later both of us went to a scan in the hospital. Sam didn`t want to know the sex of our baby, but I wanted to know. So they told me that it was going to be a boy (stubborn/everything as she wants) . So..how shall I describe it...after we found out we kissed a lot. And we started holding hands again. Maybe it was better to be together while getting a baby , so I asked him wether he could/ wanted to be more than a friend (careless). I know I got sick of him the first time, but... (thinks she can solve every problem by kissing and dating)
He didn`t gave me an answer- but he kissed me. It was the first time I felt relieved and happy again. It was a comforting thing doing homework and watching TV together again. Anyhow, we never had sex again.
One day mom told me about the NCT (Childbirth Organisation), which she has been visiting too while being pregnant. She told me that she found many friends there, so I wanted to take a look at it too. I read loads of books of descents so I thought it would be another good chance to get more information.
Then our fixed date came and I wanted Sam being at the entrance of the NCT before me. I had fear of standing there alone. Oh not alone..there were 2 persons thought. But I am sure you understand what I am talking about :)
After all we decided to change the Childbirth Organisation- because there were only pregnant adults and we didn't feel conformable in the presence of them. They all looked at us as if we were aliens or something like that..
Some weeks later both of us went to a scan in the hospital. Sam didn`t want to know the sex of our baby, but I wanted to know. So they told me that it was going to be a boy (stubborn/everything as she wants) . So..how shall I describe it...after we found out we kissed a lot. And we started holding hands again. Maybe it was better to be together while getting a baby , so I asked him wether he could/ wanted to be more than a friend (careless). I know I got sick of him the first time, but... (thinks she can solve every problem by kissing and dating)
He didn`t gave me an answer- but he kissed me. It was the first time I felt relieved and happy again. It was a comforting thing doing homework and watching TV together again. Anyhow, we never had sex again.
One day mom told me about the NCT (Childbirth Organisation), which she has been visiting too while being pregnant. She told me that she found many friends there, so I wanted to take a look at it too. I read loads of books of descents so I thought it would be another good chance to get more information.
Then our fixed date came and I wanted Sam being at the entrance of the NCT before me. I had fear of standing there alone. Oh not alone..there were 2 persons thought. But I am sure you understand what I am talking about :)
After all we decided to change the Childbirth Organisation- because there were only pregnant adults and we didn't feel conformable in the presence of them. They all looked at us as if we were aliens or something like that..
What do I connect with being pregnant and having a baby?
Here is my list for the NCT, the childbirth organisation
-Love
-Marriage
-being always together with Sam, everything will be okay
-not becoming a model
-Focus
-mother's love
-our families will be friends and there will be peace
-a new life, maybe our own house..stuff like that
=)
-Love
-Marriage
-being always together with Sam, everything will be okay
-not becoming a model
-Focus
-mother's love
-our families will be friends and there will be peace
-a new life, maybe our own house..stuff like that
=)
Chapter 11/ 12/ 13 / 14
I didn't change my mind. And I definitely wouldn't . Mom and Dad didn't like the idea of her daughter being pregnant but it's one of my biggest dreams- getting a baby (sounds absurd but as she tells it it sounds deadly serious and that´s important) I also want Sam to live in our house and I`m sure we will arrange it like this.
In Chapter 8 it says not much about Alicia because Sam is dreaming one of his future-dreams again.
I was seven-month pregnant when we got back our GCSEs... :S mine was terrible and since that moment I have been even more afraid of the future (eye-openered to her) ..so I decided to leave school for one year and come back later.
It was this terrible day. I didn't feel good so I stayed most of the time in the bathroom. Also when Sam came to see me..I wasn't ashamed of being naked. You know, he saw me before. My stomach hurted and I told him that there were only 8 minutes left..for sure he didn't understand -.- JESUS! I got so angry, frustrated and called him a moron. But to be honest..I just had fear (never shows her REAL feelings). And after a while I apologized and told him that I was scared..
The rest happened quickly..we drove into hospital for the descent. Our teacher of the Childbirth Organisation told us to bring some stuff with us into the hospital, so I packed things like clothes and music. Sam put his CD into the CD player and..OMG ! Such horrible stuff. What the hell did he think?! Everything was wrong and I told him to to what I wanted. I was hysteric, I guess. I had these terrible labours again and I couldn't shut up- I had to insult everyone..because they destroyed my life!!!!!!!!!
furthermore I had to laugh after the descent. It took a load off my mind^^ I held my baby in my arms..it was so beautiful and so small =)
At this moment I heard that song in the background..it was a man and it sounded good. I asked my mother, who stayed by my side, how the singer was called. She said: ,,Rufus". That´s how I got the idea of dubbing my baby Rufus.
There came many people to congratulate me and Sam, they were a lot interested in Rufus and told me that he looked exactly like me. It made me feel even more happier :)
Then they started to talk: Sams mother and my parents wanted to know what second name Rufus would get. Of course there was this fight, but I already thought about it (decides everything on her own, isn´t interested in the other opinions) . He should get the second name of his father- I know it hurted mom and dad but (cool/ curel)...
I decided it.
In Chapter 8 it says not much about Alicia because Sam is dreaming one of his future-dreams again.
I was seven-month pregnant when we got back our GCSEs... :S mine was terrible and since that moment I have been even more afraid of the future (eye-openered to her) ..so I decided to leave school for one year and come back later.
It was this terrible day. I didn't feel good so I stayed most of the time in the bathroom. Also when Sam came to see me..I wasn't ashamed of being naked. You know, he saw me before. My stomach hurted and I told him that there were only 8 minutes left..for sure he didn't understand -.- JESUS! I got so angry, frustrated and called him a moron. But to be honest..I just had fear (never shows her REAL feelings). And after a while I apologized and told him that I was scared..
The rest happened quickly..we drove into hospital for the descent. Our teacher of the Childbirth Organisation told us to bring some stuff with us into the hospital, so I packed things like clothes and music. Sam put his CD into the CD player and..OMG ! Such horrible stuff. What the hell did he think?! Everything was wrong and I told him to to what I wanted. I was hysteric, I guess. I had these terrible labours again and I couldn't shut up- I had to insult everyone..because they destroyed my life!!!!!!!!!
furthermore I had to laugh after the descent. It took a load off my mind^^ I held my baby in my arms..it was so beautiful and so small =)
At this moment I heard that song in the background..it was a man and it sounded good. I asked my mother, who stayed by my side, how the singer was called. She said: ,,Rufus". That´s how I got the idea of dubbing my baby Rufus.
There came many people to congratulate me and Sam, they were a lot interested in Rufus and told me that he looked exactly like me. It made me feel even more happier :)
Then they started to talk: Sams mother and my parents wanted to know what second name Rufus would get. Of course there was this fight, but I already thought about it (decides everything on her own, isn´t interested in the other opinions) . He should get the second name of his father- I know it hurted mom and dad but (cool/ curel)...
I decided it.
Chapter 15/ 16
We stayed in my room- Mom, Dad, Sam, Sams mother, his mothers boyfriend, Rufus and me. I breast-feeded my baby so I wanted everyone to go..except of Rufus father. As we sat on my bed I smiled a lot: it was my little family. I had also decorated my room for my son. I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible (motherly).
Sam lived in our house that time. One night I woke up because of Rufus. It was Sams turn to look after him so I woke him up. May it sound harsh? It isn't- he was and is the father and I didn't want to do everything alone. Just to mention it: I was pretty bad at changing the baby so I was happy to have Sam.
I knew I had changed..my hair was greasy, I was tired a lot and I had a puffy face. When Sam was ready and Rufus quiet he came back into our bed and I embraced him.
And I asked him wether he would love me (naive). He said yes..
But some days later the situation changed again. It was difficult to believe he loved me after he came back from school. He looked very upset and when he started talking I knew what he was worried about.
He thought I shit him.He really thought I slept with my ex boyfriend- knew that I was pregnant and then slept with him to tell him that HE was the father !!! WTF! First I was speechless but then..I screamed and shouted at him.
I can remember very well what I said to him. ,,Don't you think I hadn't got dreams aswell?? Everytime you are the important person...you you you you!!!" He answered: ,,I know, you wanted to become a model."
My dream. Being reminded of this hurted so much, you can´t imagine. I started crying again. I couldn`t even visit college! What about my future??
Sam apologized and hughed and kissed me- it could abate the pain for a little while.
Sam lived in our house that time. One night I woke up because of Rufus. It was Sams turn to look after him so I woke him up. May it sound harsh? It isn't- he was and is the father and I didn't want to do everything alone. Just to mention it: I was pretty bad at changing the baby so I was happy to have Sam.
I knew I had changed..my hair was greasy, I was tired a lot and I had a puffy face. When Sam was ready and Rufus quiet he came back into our bed and I embraced him.
And I asked him wether he would love me (naive). He said yes..
But some days later the situation changed again. It was difficult to believe he loved me after he came back from school. He looked very upset and when he started talking I knew what he was worried about.
He thought I shit him.He really thought I slept with my ex boyfriend- knew that I was pregnant and then slept with him to tell him that HE was the father !!! WTF! First I was speechless but then..I screamed and shouted at him.
I can remember very well what I said to him. ,,Don't you think I hadn't got dreams aswell?? Everytime you are the important person...you you you you!!!" He answered: ,,I know, you wanted to become a model."
My dream. Being reminded of this hurted so much, you can´t imagine. I started crying again. I couldn`t even visit college! What about my future??
Sam apologized and hughed and kissed me- it could abate the pain for a little while.
Chapter 17/ 18
Time passed. We had a lot of small fights for example this one: where should Rufus sit in the car? We argued a lot: at the back seat or not?
well...I said many bad things about his father whereupon he said terrible things about my parents. Everything was getting out of hand and it sucked. One day Sam got a cold so I didn`t want him so stay with our baby and sent him back to his home.
Another day I was in the bathroom when he appeared. Damn it..couldn`t I be alone in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes??? I was angry (sensitive). I am sure he just came to see me naked -.- how cocky (thinks stupid things/insolent) . He said he got better things to look at than me. Wow, that was a real shock, he went out with other girls!!!! although we had a baby..and that was definitive too much. I couldn`t accept him to meet our son anymore!
When mom listened to our conversation she wanted to know what was going on..so we sat together and talked- and it has been an good idea. It was just an misunderstanding ^^ I had to laugh after I found out.
well...I said many bad things about his father whereupon he said terrible things about my parents. Everything was getting out of hand and it sucked. One day Sam got a cold so I didn`t want him so stay with our baby and sent him back to his home.
Another day I was in the bathroom when he appeared. Damn it..couldn`t I be alone in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes??? I was angry (sensitive). I am sure he just came to see me naked -.- how cocky (thinks stupid things/insolent) . He said he got better things to look at than me. Wow, that was a real shock, he went out with other girls!!!! although we had a baby..and that was definitive too much. I couldn`t accept him to meet our son anymore!
When mom listened to our conversation she wanted to know what was going on..so we sat together and talked- and it has been an good idea. It was just an misunderstanding ^^ I had to laugh after I found out.
Chapter 19
I had a cold, maybe Sam had infected me, I dunno.
So it was his job to take Rufus to his injections.
It was always a funny thing..when we did something together we never talked about life..of the future.
Anyways- I didn`t like him to make jokes about my weight, that was pretty mean -.-
well things were fine at this time. After we went to the Frinsbusy Park with our baby he came with me into my room and..we had finally sex again. So I guess we became a pair again :) we did it many times, when Rufus slept in my bedroom we went into Richs`,my brothers` bedroom^^ I didn`t think that he would complain. Actually he didn`t find out and it was mom who was shocked when she saw me and Sam in there. With a quivery voice I told her that it was a normal thing...I just mean..hey! we had a baby! There was nothing wrong about it! (childish/ stupid/ ... O__O)
But Mom and dad kept complaining, they thought it was wrong to sleep with each other just to stuck together (they are definitively right!!) .
I told you that it had been a nice time..but nice times have to end anytime...
I wished for a new beginning just like the day when I met Sam for the first time. When I told him he just quoted a sentence of his stupid Tony Hawk book! GODDESS
HOW SHOULD A BOOK SAVE THE REST OF MY LIFE???????????????????????????????????????????????
I jostled him away and he went away.
So it was his job to take Rufus to his injections.
It was always a funny thing..when we did something together we never talked about life..of the future.
Anyways- I didn`t like him to make jokes about my weight, that was pretty mean -.-
well things were fine at this time. After we went to the Frinsbusy Park with our baby he came with me into my room and..we had finally sex again. So I guess we became a pair again :) we did it many times, when Rufus slept in my bedroom we went into Richs`,my brothers` bedroom^^ I didn`t think that he would complain. Actually he didn`t find out and it was mom who was shocked when she saw me and Sam in there. With a quivery voice I told her that it was a normal thing...I just mean..hey! we had a baby! There was nothing wrong about it! (childish/ stupid/ ... O__O)
But Mom and dad kept complaining, they thought it was wrong to sleep with each other just to stuck together (they are definitively right!!) .
I told you that it had been a nice time..but nice times have to end anytime...
I wished for a new beginning just like the day when I met Sam for the first time. When I told him he just quoted a sentence of his stupid Tony Hawk book! GODDESS
HOW SHOULD A BOOK SAVE THE REST OF MY LIFE???????????????????????????????????????????????
I jostled him away and he went away.
Rufus and me..isn't he sweet in that pink pullover? It's one of my favo colours...
The end of the book
The novel has got an open end. Sam gets whizzed into the future for another time and there Alicia found another boyfriend- Carl, just like Sam found Alex. It seemes as if they are happy and they stayed good friends.
